Compulsory Viewing: Born to Learn

I think that it’s time to make a law that requires compulsory attendance to this web site at least once a week. After all, how are you going to learn interesting things and become educated, if we aren’t forced to learn them?

So I believe I will begin an ongoing COMPULSION series of posts that you, my loyal readers, should be forced to read, watch and learn from. Please attend these informative educational opportunities voluntarily until I can get a law passed that makes attendance on this blog compulsory.

Today’s Compulsory Viewing post is a video on how we learn naturally. You MUST watch it and learn from it. I’m sorry there won’t be a test or pop quiz. Turns out, I”m not allowed to administer tests or actually, do anything schoolish until after I have secured the proper laws that force you to attend these posts for educational purposes. Something about union rules and the tax structure…. Yeah… I skipped that lecture too.

So, consider it a free day.

Charlestown Medium Security High School Dedication

Check out picture #6 in this photo essay of the dedication of a renovated high school in Indiana:

Charlestown High School Dedication |  Louisville Indiana | The Courier-Journal.

Medium security prison, or $40 Million public school renovation? Can you tell the difference?

Actually… is there a difference?

Another excellent reason that government schooled kids just love learning in public schools is because they are so well designed for their intended purpose.

Wouldn’t you agree?

A Dad’s Homeschool Socialization Program

Updated! March 25, 2010 – Here’s a great 3 minute audio from Eagle Forum on when it comes to socialization, Homeschoolers Don’t Need It: Homeschoolers Don’t Need Socialization – Eagle Forum

The following is an essay of mine that has been passed around over the years, that deals with the homeschool socialization question. It gets posted around every year or so on our IndianaHomeschoolers e-list. I thought I would pass it on and archive it here, for your enjoyment. If it makes you want to “skip school” and educate your children otherwise, I think that would be great!

WARNING: This is supposed to be funny. If you don’t have a sense of humor, or believe that people who make jabs at public schooling are evil elitists, don’t read this. If you have the tendency to snort coffee out your nose while you’re reading funny things, don’t blame me. You’ve been warned.


I am perfectly aware of the socialization needs of my children. As an involved parent and (home) educator, the awesome responsibility falls upon me to make sure my children receive all the diverse and broad educational aspects of the “public school experience” that they miss by not attending their assigned government institution.

So that others may learn from my experience, I submit for your consideration a few of my homeschool curricula plans to keep it real and balanced with the Government School experience called “Socialization.”

Every three months, I send my little school-skippers to Grandma’s house, where they are under strict instructions to beg her to bake dozens of cookies so they can sell them for a fund-raising project.They are supposed to remind Grandma that their education will suffer if they don’t raise money for their “school.” And just like public schools, the money they raise goes directly to … building maintenance, supplies and the administration. Me. The Administration offices need some new furniture and the teachers’ lounge needs a new microwave and espresso machine. (My union got that in the collective bargaining agreement. Caffeinated teachers make better teachers!)

When I sell them at the office, I skip all the details. I just say, “It’s for the children,” and keep the money. But I don’t do all the selling like some parents do for their children. Nope. Kids need to learn about how to use other people’s money to pay for more of the things their taxes already paid for.

[On a side note: If anyone is interested, I’m developing a home education curricula package on free-market entrepreneurialism. Once I teach them that there’s no hope of making a profit, after I impose inspection fees, (fines for minor infractions) taxes and surcharges — then hold up the building permits for their lemonade stand until October — they’ll learn quickly that it’s not worth working for yourself and get back to selling cookies for their school. For the children. At ONLY $30,000 per package, I expect lots of orders from public schools.]

ANYWAY: Any leftover cookies are sold door to door. The kids learn basic Progressive economics by selling them to the neighbors, not based on what the market will bear, but rather based on the appraised value of the neighbor’s property. The more expensive the house, the more the cookies cost.

This is a lesson-plan “two-fer” as it teaches the principle of progressive taxation and the politics of class envy all at once. People who don’t buy cookies are asked, “Are you against education or do you just hate children?” If they STILL don’t buy cookies, my little public school-skippers are instructed to sell the cookies to the neighbor’s publicly schooled kids as they get off the bus.

Any left-over cookies are sold back to Grandma. I understand that some schools make the parents contribute to bake sales then guilt the parents into buying the goods back. Sounds like a sweet idea to me!

As I stated earlier, the money goes to me (as head of the school administration) to buy educational enhancing tools like a new flat screen TV. It helps me relax so I can do a better job administrating my school. Anything that goes towards the “teacher’s lounge” likewise, advances the learning process. It’s all good, and all for the children. Mom pays for school supplies out of her budget (just like public schoolers.) Bonus: This leaves the family with less money for food and qualifies our kids for the free lunch program.


The Meat and Potatoes of my socialization Curricula

As part of my “Kids need to experience real life” lesson plan, every month or so, when the children are given their scheduled bathroom break (complete with hall passes) I randomly yank one of the kids into the bathroom and offer them drugs. When they “just say no” they get a swirlie and a threat that they better not tell anyone (like Mom) or they’ll be in REAL trouble.

After they recover I hand them a smoke and tell them if they don’t light up, they aren’t cool.

Then when they successfully cave in to the peer pressure and light up (because they don’t want another swirlie) I turn on ’em (putting on my Principal’s “We [heart] School!” badge) and give them a detention for smoking in the bathroom.

Lessons learned? Priceless.

You know… this just goes to show that spending an intense three months on our home based D.A.R.E. program wasn’t worth spit!

We should have spent the time teaching them to READ instead. That way they could have read the “Don’t Do Drugs” signs I posted everywhere.

Oh well… when you have to keep up with teaching just like the public schools do, some of the programs like reading, writing and math are obviously going to suffer.

Proper Socialization is just too important.

I know what you’re thinking:

“Homeschooling Dad, you’re doing a darn good job socializing your kids with a quality public schooling-style socialization program at home.”

Yeah… I know.

But I have to admit, there’s at least one difference between our homeschool socialization program and the average public school’s program….

I REFUSE to give the kids free condoms.

I know it makes me look like a prude, but I had to put my foot down: I make ’em pay for them. (Time for another cookie fund-raiser!)

/s/ BbBennett

Tip-o’the-Hat to April, Jay and Christa for letting me steal their material and for helping me keep my homeschool socialization program true to real life, accredited and up to Government School standards.
[The previous paragraphs were — of course — sarcastic. But for those who have NO sense of humor or sense of the ironic… no, we don’t really do those things. NO parent I KNOW does those things. Only an IDIOT would allow these things to happen to someone’s children. Sadly, I can’t vouch for the peers and officials at YOUR child’s public school. Maybe you should ask him or her about it. Don’t you ever wonder: If a parent were to do to their children, what is routinely allowed in today’s public schools, the parent would be in jail NOW? What happens to the adults who run our public schools? Think about it.] More Under-Fives Suspended is reporting that in England, there are more and more children under the age of five, who are getting suspended for violent behavior from their students.

Wow. One comment to the post so far, suggests that cattle prods would be a good start towards bringing  back control to their little preschools of horror.

Good think here in Indiana, kids don’t really have to go to school until age 7. By then, they are expected to know NOT to kick, hit, bite and throw cricket bats at their teachers.

Funnies: No Evidence Equals Guilt

No Evidence
Hat Tip:

You might want to refer back to my post about a Richmond Community School Board member suggesting that there were too many unaccountable parents out there, “saying” they are homeschooling, using a “loophole” in the law to somehow cause Richmond’s graduation rate look too good!

How many homeschoolers have read article after article accusing homeschoolers of hiding their children from government child protectors (teachers… HA!!) to avoid being charged with abuse?

How many parents have been out in public (like a park or play area) with their children, acting perfectly with a wide range of children of varying age and race, and been asked by another mom, “What about socialization?”

I’m sorry, but I just don’t have the patience to give ignorant people the time of day anymore. And you shouldn’t either.

If you’re currently homeschooling, YOU know how well it works. There is no need to explain your choices to anyone. When the media or teachers or State School advocates say one word about how damaging homeschooling is to your children, or how homeschooling is somehow harming public schools, laugh a hearty laugh.

[Read the following comment and more ignorant thoughts from people who are against CHARTER schools. Lord knows what they think of homeschoolers!!]

…if the best and brightest students are siphoned off [into public charter schools], the worst and dullest remain behind. I don’t know if that fact, in itself, is sufficient reason to scrap the charter schools system. When money is diverted away from public schools, to finance other alternatives, the public school product is negatively impacted, compounding the problem. [Nashville City Paper]

I posted that comment because it is very common to hear ideas like that when the discussion revolves on the weaning of our children away from the State Schools and into alternatives (ANY ALTERNATIVE) to a State Mandated education.

Bottom line: Skipping School to homeschool or take advantage of any other methods you choose is not illegal! (Yet.) Choose and do what’s right by your children while you still can. Don’t let your children be the “worst and dullest remain(ing)” in your failing public Government School.